Le sigh.

It's the way he moves which causes me to shake. It's his presence which causes my heart to pound, faster and faster for I have found my reason.. my reason to continue being here. I can't leave his side, for in a lot of ways, he saved me. Brought my soul back to life. Helped me to recover from every horrible thing that's happened in my life. It's not every day that the love grows stronger.. it's every second. Every moment. The last thing I want is to hurt him, but I fear that - that is what I do. I become frightened, but seeing your face the way it was.. it hurts me. I can't bare to think about how you looked, when you became so scared, like a boy. As I draw myself away from you, and all you want is to give me the kind of love I've always wanted. I wish I could free myself. I wish I could wake into a new dawn where I could have this figured out. I wish I didn't feel trapped, or so selfish, for I feel selfishly in love with you. Every touch, every action, and I can't help but shift you away from me. You've imprinted on my heart, on my soul, so why can't I just let these things go? Every touch, every action shows you love me. 


When I was a young girl dreaming of that man who would take me away into some new land, some place so far away, I couldn't even have imagined that it would've been as good as it is with you. I wish I could see what you see in me, for in you I see the world. I see a sunshine, a light that I can't compare to. You laugh when I saw I'm unworthy and yet every part of me feels it. Every part aches for wanting something better for you. Someone who can truly appreciate who you are.. but yet, I want to be the only one you'll ever be with. It's an understatement when I say I'm the luckiest girl alive, for I have you. So when I was that young girl, I dreamt, and you were the first thing to tell me that dreams can come into reality.


Now that I am a woman, I find myself sad. Not because I don't love you, but because I wish I could appreciate every inch of you the way that I should. I have never known such kindness, such love, and yet my natural response is simply to push away. I feel lost, and I feel alone.. and I have you by my side whenever I need it. You could complete me, but I need to become whole first. 


You complete me. You're the only one I want to be with. The world seems to explode into colour when I"m with you. It's easy to forget, to run away. However, if I ran away now.. I know that I would regret it. I know that I would regret not taking a chance on the greatest love I could've known. This is what you've been trying to tell me, but I have not listened. You still say it through every touch, through every kiss. You try to make me see.. that we're all we'll ever need. On the darkest shade of gray, you bring in the oranges, reds and yellows. You light up my life in a way which I never thought possible. 


R, my lover, I'll walk with you forever.