Last day of appreciation project!

1. Saw this guy on a car intena. I think he and I should be friends. What about you?

2. We viewed two REALLY amazing apartments, that'll both allow our cats. You can bet that when we get our place, and are able to see our cats, we'll be jumping for joy.

3. Ryan got two on the spot interviews, and most likely a job!

4. I had the most fun job interview ever! Playing the "knot" game, hand dancing games, memory games. This is my job, I swear it!

5. The support that is around me is amazing. Best friends and family ever.

Positivity gets you somewhere. See? Yay! This was a great experience for me, and I hope you enjoyed my journey as well.

Until next time!

K.

Being grateful project day 6

1. I had a date with my lover last night. We went to see brave and it was SO lovely! We saw a rainbow, and came home to a beautiful moon.

2. I learned some tips on how to pay my loan back faster.

3. That I got to talk to my friend practically all day yesterday! 

4. The discovery that my feet are smaller! Hurray! Means more options for nicer shoes.

5. I met a guy from the same hometown as me at school, nice to have familiarity! 

Grateful day 5 - All about my love.

Right from the beginning, he's been the best thing that's ever happened to me.

1. I'm grateful that he has been so patient and kind. He's proven not only that there are good guys out there, but that it would be possible for me to love someone fully and not get my heart broken.

 2. I'm grateful that he's so encouraging. He support me in everything I do.

3. I'm grateful for the joy and laughter that he brings into my life.  

I'm grateful that I've been able to learn so many things, like trust with him. 

5. All around, I'm just grateful that he still chooses to spend the rest of his life with me, and that I get this loving man.

Being Grateful Project Day 4

1. My best friend called me this morning. It was the greatest!

2. I'm grateful for a very nice person who gave me some blueberries this morning. HEAVEN!

3. Some might be surprised by this, but I'm very grateful for my Mormon upbringing today. Without it, I probably wouldn't have the same morals that I have now. I'd be a very different person. So although I don't believe in it, I'm grateful for my raising in it.

4. My youtube account can gain money now! I have some awesome videos on the way.

5. I'm grateful that I'll be able to go back to being vegan soon. So grateful for the knowledge I have about veganism, health and healing! 

Being grateful project day 3

Yesterday was just a grateful kind of day.

1. A sparrow came to see us! The door was open a little bit and it hopped in. Unfortunately, it felt like it was trapped.. so had quite an interlude with the window, but then we set it loose again! It was nice to have that little reminder of nature.

2. At school we're having a clothing exchange and now I have actual NICE clothes! Now all I need are more pants and a pair of flats! 

3. I got to hear an inspiring story from my new friend. She had pretty well nothing, and then through creating a shrine to money (haha), realizing what she really did have, and dancing through her life she has gained abundance. I'm grateful for the inspiration!

4. I got a computer.. for free! It's an old-ish computer, but I've been wanting to get a computer for writing. This is what I got! A computer for writing! It might not be able to do much else, but that is what it functions for. They were originally going to charge money but then didn't.. oh happy day! 

5. Look at how amazing this is? HOW CAN I NOT BE GRATEFUL? 

Being grateful project day two.

1. That some wonderful homeless person returned my phone (as can be seen in the image). There is beautiful people in this world still. I am so grateful for this particular thing!

2. The guy who is watching over Ryan and I's cats. We both were just about crying to be able to see our cats, who are soon to be reunited with us! Keeping those cats has shown that ANYTHING can happen. Being able to see them, even for a few seconds, was amazing... technology is amazing.

3. To have a pair of sandals that I can wear to school (business school), instead of just wearing my runners. I feel much more like I'm dressing the role of my not-too-far-off profession!

4. I made a friend in school yesterday. I've been feeling rather lonely as of late, and it's nice to have finally made a new friend in our new home.

5. Reading the last link that I posted. There IS hope for amazing humans. What's more beautiful is that all of us have the potential to do that for each other.

Today I'm just very grateful!

Is the 'why' productive?

Quite possibly.. I'm one of the most curious people out there. One of my ex's, while I was dumping him said that he was happy I was dumping him because I reminded him way too much of a scientist. (As you can imagine, I was deeply insulted. *sarcasm* *rolls eyes*) The reason he said that, is because I always ask questions. I always do. I just like knowing the answers to things. Probably because I have a socially awkward personality where I don't know when to sensor what I should and should not be saying, most of what comes out of my mouth is questions.

Not surprising, today I started asking a lot of why questions. It sent me on a downward spiral. "Why didn't I do this?" "Why isn't this happening?" etc. As you can see, it was sending me on a downward spiral.

Then I started questioning (ha) the productivity of the question "why." I think it honestly depends on if you're looking at it as a motivation to move forward, or if you're using it as something to stay in the past (much like everything).

For example, I'm sure inventors ask lots of why questions. The questions that got somewhere. We wouldn't be as technologically advanced as we are today if they hadn't asked 'why'?

Sometimes I have to wonder if they ever asked negative "why's". I'm sure that if they did, it was replaced with positive. "Why did this surge not work?" would be a way more productive question than "Why am I doing this?" Although that could theoretically be a positive thing too...

I think this is a break-through for me. Discovering my thought processes in something so simple as the 'why' questions that I'm asking could very well lead me to be a very different type of person... the type of person who moves ahead instead of reverting backwards. I realize now that I get so caught up in questions, that I forget to live. "Why are we here? What is my purpose?" (Yes, I'm moving on to other questions... because they can all be productive or unproductive.) I think it's more important to enjoy my time here, and create my purpose.

As a matter of fact, I did that today while talking to a lady at my school.

That, however is a story for another day.

Being grateful project Day 1.

Things have been insane lately, of course. It seems like there is loop-hole after loop-hole and I'm tired of feeling this down... so here's what I'm going to do: Every day for the next while I'm going to say five things I'm grateful for. If anybody else wants to respond with five things they're grateful for feel free. This will be something I do for this week. Next week I'll come up with some other project.

1. Free library cards in BC. Odd thing to be grateful for? Perhaps. It's funny, because I use the library more now that it's free than when I had to pay for them.

2. usedeverywhere.com This makes buying things that you need (or say that you need) so much more pleasurable (and cheap) to buy. I bought my keyboard, grabbed lots of free furniture, etc. It's wonderful!

3. Awesome and motivational instructors. It's nice to have someone who truly cares about where I'm going in life.

4. Being in a house right beside the ocean. This situation is temporary, but oh it's a beautiful temporary! Every day I want to go outside and take pictures due to the fact that it's just that beautiful. The skies are ALWAYS different. Nature is so variant. I guess it's kind of like life.. always changing.

5. Having two fathers on fathers day. For many years I hadn't kept in contact with my dad. I found him and added him to facebook so we've been able to chat a bit. I wished him a Happy Father's day. Then, we spent Father's day with my wonderful partners father as well. It was nice. Of course, I wished my mom a happy father's day as well as I always have.

There we go! First day complete. I'm feeling better already.

Maybe it's okay to be.. me.

I've always had to have things just right.

I had to have everybody be happy with me.

I had to have a certain way of living which involved me on more than one occasion being able to buy a new book.

I had to have my perfect, orderly way of life.

I wanted to be thin by the time I was 18 or I was going to have surgery done to make it so that I would be that way. (I'm 22 and am still not where I want to be weight wise.)

I wanted to be married with a kid by now. (Thank goodness that has happened! I love kids, but I'm enjoying the freedom.)

I wanted to be a stay at home wife.

Anyway, you get the picture. I just wanted everything to be just so. If it wasn't just so, I would retreat into my box and hide away.

These facts are even evident in my pictures on facebook. I think almost every single photo has been photoshopped because I haven't been happy with my over all appearance. Honestly, it kind of makes me sad. I don't wear make-up for the fact that I want to be up front with people, and yet I hide away all the time.

It's funny, doing this little confessional. Of course nobody's perfect, of course everybody has flaws.. but sometimes all you can see is your own.

Today something little changed that for me. I was thinking about how I'm not thin yet, how we don't have money, being nervous about the future and then I thought "Maybe it's okay to just be.. me." So what if I'm not where I want to be right now? I still want to be able to love this girl regardless. You see that girl in the picture? I'm now learning how to love her, flaws and all.

The difference between my parents and I

Rotten teenagers, that's what we are... right? Do you copy? Do you read me? After all, parents have the experience... they know the world... because the world obviously slips into specific patterns that can be memorized.

Um. Since when?

Lately I've been thinking about just how much our world has changed/is changing. In the past hundred years, technology has kind of taken over. It's changed the entire way we live our lives. In fact, me sitting in front of this computer is probably one of the biggest indicators of that. I'm currently typing on a machine which has so much thought, and compact objects shoved into it all to create a smart robot-type device to help me with my day to day activities. I could say that it also aids in the ruination of plenty of good relationships, annoyance at not actually placing real resumes to real people (online applications... ugh.), and yet makes life oh so much easier! Having traveled as much as I have, if I hadn't had this device, I would not have a single friend (except perhaps for my lovely R.)

This device which I have under my fingers just shows how much things can change. Life can change in the blink of an eye, especially once things start rolling. We didn't used to type on laptops! I remember the slow computers in elementary school. I remember the little animated paperclip who would appear at the side of my screen saying that he wanted to help me figure out how to use word. I remember when paint was the most exciting thing... and then some. I'm sad to say that I haven't seen the clip guy in the corner, which makes my computer experience that much less enjoyable. After all, it was the clip guy who took the serious away from these unatural things (Yay radiation!) All at the sametime, when I get a computer of my own, my music and writing careers shall be much easier to do.

Computers are evidence that this is just a time of quick change - so let's accept it! There are factors which are kind of terrible which go with that, but even that's changing. Hello change, welcome to the world. Could you please catch my parents up to speed?

In my new found love of trying to find love and joy in life - this is probably not the best post to do. Trying to find love and light is not something I was taught. It's something that I'm learning through seemingly unatural and very difficult means. Through many realizations it has become harder to be natural happy. All the things I wasn't taught.

1) We're not free. What? You thought differently? We're items. We have a net value. We can be bought, all for fear of not having the every day comforts we have. I do believe that we have ways that we can get back our freedom, but that's a post for another day.

2) It's okay to be you. We're always taught that, but no one really means it. I know that in my family we were told to always care about what other people were thinking/saying before we did anything in our life. Other people's opinions are what matters. You know what the problem with that lifestyle is? Nobody likes you. You can't live for everyone. It also shows that you're trying to please. So please, for the love just be YOU! People are attracted to confidence, not cookie cutters.

3) School is not educational. Real education comes from experience, classics and mentors.

4) It is a freaking technology boom. No more in person resumes, people only want to hear from you online. Yeesh.

5) There's a shift happening. Enlightenment, awareness, and it's something more than religion. Yet again, another post by itself. It's happening with us, the rotten teenagers are the ones who are changing! New thoughts and ideas are booming more than ever before! Amazing things are in the works.

Perhaps it's unfair to ask that everybody be caught up to speed. It's easy to live in the past. There are just SO many lessons we could be learning from this day in age. Things are shifting beautifully.. I can feel it! That is the biggest difference between my parents and I.. I can feel it. I can feel the change, and accept it.

End post.

PS (Would anybody be opposed to giving me suggestions on what to write about? I would love to incorporate suggestions.. research, and start discussing. I'm also thinking of starting to post once a week. Stay tuned.)

Relearning law of Attraction

Things have been hard. Big surprise right? Life often is when you're the type of person who knows nothing else. I've been trying to be happy, healthy, and strong...and to be truly honest, it wasn't panning out too well. I'm going to be very honest. I've been giving in to absolute jealousy. I've been watching friends, celebrities, etc and been jealous because of success. Jealous because I don't have what they do.

So in one of my raids of jealousy, I stumbled across the twitter of the actress who plays Willow in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Alyson Hannigan.)...partially because of jealousy, and partially because her acting is so entertaining that I figured her tweets would be too.. And i definitely could use a pick-me-up. Anyway, in scrolling through her tweets there was one that said something like "For those of you who want my job... TOO BAD! I've had to work hard to not have to work very hard."

THEN IT HIT ME.

I've been looking at the law of attraction completely 100% wrong. I've got caught on the trap that you can get something for nothing. Most are successful because they just live their lives...exploring, learning, but they have to WORK hard. The universe will not hand your destiny on a platter. We're not predestined! We have to work and explore to find our ultimate happiness. How can the universe present us with plenty when we sit on a couch all day? Nothing changes, we're not learning about ourselves and our world.

There is no reason why we can't be successful, except for the limitations we place on ourselves. I now realize that getting something for nothing is a degrading philosophy. I can now see the world through new lenses. I want to explore, and work to find the destiny I've been seeking. If you seek... you'll eventually find. If you sit, you'll stay put. So get on your feet without fear.. tomorrow's a new day. :)

I also now realize that jealousy is a detriment. After all, if I'm jealous of other people putting in the effort to truly find what makes them happy... when I haven't been trying to do the same, then who am I to say anything? This world is beautiful and there's plenty of dreams to be filled for everyone. We're all just people with dreams and the universe wants to provide...to guide.

I'll be completely honest...I don't know what I'm going to do with this new found epiphany. I hope I start to explore more, but one thing's sure...I now have the first key to getting what I want, and making my dreams come true.