Poop on the sweater

You are reading the heading right.. there was, very definitely poop on my sweater. Now this sweater does have a bit of a history, and only a bit of one. I was dating a guy in September, and my mom bought him a sweater for Christmas. Well, we didn't last till Christmas. With all the emotional garb that this relationship produced, I long ago swore that I would burn the sweater, for I have enough reminders of him.

Gradually I grew to be comfortable with the idea of wearing the sweater. I suppose in some ways it made me feel like I was in some way close to him. (I feel so creepy in saying things like this, but let's face facts, the relationship itself was creepy). Never before has anyone affected me in the same way that he has, and that's not necessarily a good thing.

I didn't sleep for almost four days when he dumped me. He did make me believe it was all my fault, even though my friends noticed that I was being emotionally abused (without saying anything, mind you.. *sigh*) I discovered that the worst part about the relationship ending, was the fact that everything seemed to remind me of him. Now I was finding something that purposely reminded me of him? Oh dear.

But.. my cat pooped on the sweater. The sweater which helped me to retain whatever memory of him that I once had. In some ways, I feel like it's one of the last stages I had to go through, as cheezy as this all sounds. I hated having him hang over my head all the time. I knew that he wasn't any good for me and yet I tried to do it...

Now, I have the love of my light, and I no longer have a sweater to fully keep me from loving him.

There seems to be a lot of new beginnings in my journey right now.