Sacrafice, Christ, Atonement

I've been thinking a lot lately about pain. How much of it is really because of other people and how much is because of us, or more particularly, me? I was talking to my chiropractor about the way a back works. When a vertebrae is out, it pinches a nerve. When that nerve pinches, the back will steer away from it. It tries to avoid the pain which usually ends up bringing more pain, like a curvature in the back.





I think you understand what I'm getting at. I am trying to avoid pain and in turn I'm causing much more pain than necessary. But all I see is the hurt that it's causing me in the beginning. I don't see that I could end up with scoliosis, or worse later on in life. All I see is that one moment.





Now, I suppose you can also see how this would be problematic. This creates a lot of hypocrisy, and a lot of unnecessary pain.





This was the first stage of my thinking. My state of thinking this past week particularly was how to deal with the nerves that I'm pinching. It's come to a lot of heavy decision making. I wrote a song recently and it has these lines in it:





"Sacrafice one moment


Know eternal joy..."





There is a reason why I put that line in there. I believe that it is TRUE! I didn't write it because I hopes that it was true, I really, truly believe that it is true. I'm tired of halting my eternal progression, but it is going to take a lot of sacrafice to get where I want to be. It's going to make for very confused crowd.





The idea of living life for freedom - for the life that we (I) were really made to live - scares me. CHANGE... the scariest word. It means prying away from those things which will ultimately help me to grow. However, I think that there's a crossroads that everyone comes to in their life where they simply have to decide. There's a wonderful scripture which states that we can't have two masters...



I hope that I choose right. I know who I choose in my mind, but in my actions who I am I really choosing? It was interesting... when I was reading "Jesus the Christ" it said something along the lines of, "For the spirit wants it, but the body is weak." I found much truth in that. Christ sacraficed so much for us, now is my chance to prove it to Him. It can only be done through a lot of sacrafice though.

Now begins the new chapter. For it has now reached that now or never stage.